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Loves her suburbs fine dining Chilis, olive garden, Fridays, red robin

Loves her suburbs fine dining Chilis, olive garden, Fridays, red robin Sheltering Suburban Mom
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19,998 shares

Didn't hear comment "Ha, yeah"

Didn't hear comment
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29,311 shares

i don't always play with yarn but when i do, it's fucking adorable

i don't always play with yarn but when i do, it's fucking adorable The Most Interesting Cat in the World
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19,848 shares

you know, you just can't get decent XL condoms. they're all too big for you?

you know, you just can't get decent XL condoms. they're all too big for you? Inception
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16,054 shares

Poor people just need to work harder never worked in her life

Poor people just need to work harder never worked in her life Sheltering Suburban Mom
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13,571 shares

I don't always have great ideas But when I do, I post them on reddit at 4am and nobody notices it

I don't always have great ideas But when I do, I post them on reddit at 4am and nobody notices it The Most Interesting Man In The World
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18,771 shares

At camp, i destroy butts 24-7 as part of an anti-tobacco campaign.

At camp, i destroy butts 24-7 as part of an anti-tobacco campaign. Harmless Scout Leader
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18,491 shares

Have to piss in public restroom use stall incase murderer comes in,will last a few seconds longer than everyone else

Have to piss in public restroom use stall incase murderer comes in,will last a few seconds longer than everyone else Paranoid Parrot
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16,839 shares

I don't always want to go outside. But when I do I want to come back inside after 2 minutes

I don't always want to go outside. But when I do I want to come back inside after 2 minutes The Most Interesting Cat in the World
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15,273 shares

Between the kids and the house there's just no time for myself has nanny and maid

Between the kids and the house there's just no time for myself has nanny and maid Sheltering Suburban Mom
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15,866 shares