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i have to poop but my phone battery is at 5%

i have to poop but my phone battery is at 5% First World Problems
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302,337 shares

Ringtone Goes Off at Funeral Another One Bites the Dust

Ringtone Goes Off at Funeral Another One Bites the Dust Bad Luck Brian
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234,043 shares

Takes girl to comedy club She leaves with the comedian

Takes girl to comedy club She leaves with the comedian Bad Luck Brian
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176,526 shares

I don't always shower with my girlfriend but when I do, I slap her with my penis

I don't always shower with my girlfriend but when I do, I slap her with my penis The Most Interesting Man In The World
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328,923 shares

She said I was too old for karate I decided she was too old to live.

She said I was too old for karate I decided she was too old to live. Karate Kyle
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297,678 shares

I don't always get caught staring at girls' asses But when I do, I spend the next 90 seconds staring at the exact same spot so they think I was just staring off into space.

I don't always get caught staring at girls' asses But when I do, I spend the next 90 seconds staring at the exact same spot so they think I was just staring off into space. The Most Interesting Man In The World
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249,152 shares

my daughter and her boyfriend lock the bedroom door so they can study without being interrupted

my daughter and her boyfriend lock the bedroom door so they can study without being interrupted Oblivious Suburban Mom
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343,057 shares

Left text book in car Sweet, no homework.

Left text book in car Sweet, no homework. Lazy College Senior
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154,381 shares

Has to make phone call Writes out full script before calling

Has to make phone call Writes out full script before calling Socially Awkward Penguin
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207,776 shares

Visited the Virgin Islands Now Called "the Islands"

Visited the Virgin Islands Now Called
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199,077 shares