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i have to poop but my phone battery is at 5%

i have to poop but my phone battery is at 5% First World Problems
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302,634 shares

Ringtone Goes Off at Funeral Another One Bites the Dust

Ringtone Goes Off at Funeral Another One Bites the Dust Bad Luck Brian
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234,215 shares

Takes girl to comedy club She leaves with the comedian

Takes girl to comedy club She leaves with the comedian Bad Luck Brian
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176,697 shares

I don't always shower with my girlfriend but when I do, I slap her with my penis

I don't always shower with my girlfriend but when I do, I slap her with my penis The Most Interesting Man In The World
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329,155 shares

She said I was too old for karate I decided she was too old to live.

She said I was too old for karate I decided she was too old to live. Karate Kyle
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297,811 shares

I don't always get caught staring at girls' asses But when I do, I spend the next 90 seconds staring at the exact same spot so they think I was just staring off into space.

I don't always get caught staring at girls' asses But when I do, I spend the next 90 seconds staring at the exact same spot so they think I was just staring off into space. The Most Interesting Man In The World
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249,343 shares

my daughter and her boyfriend lock the bedroom door so they can study without being interrupted

my daughter and her boyfriend lock the bedroom door so they can study without being interrupted Oblivious Suburban Mom
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343,205 shares

Left text book in car Sweet, no homework.

Left text book in car Sweet, no homework. Lazy College Senior
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154,500 shares

Has to make phone call Writes out full script before calling

Has to make phone call Writes out full script before calling Socially Awkward Penguin
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208,046 shares

Visited the Virgin Islands Now Called "the Islands"

Visited the Virgin Islands Now Called
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199,205 shares