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I beat my pregnant wife to the car, so i could open the door for her

I beat my pregnant wife to the car, so i could open the door for her Successful Black Man

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Lonely and can't fall asleep. Forges a makeshift girl made out of pillows to cuddle with.

Lonely and can't fall asleep. Forges a makeshift girl made out of pillows to cuddle with. Forever Alone

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Daylight Saving time Clock in my car will finally be correct.

Daylight Saving time Clock in my car will finally be correct. Success Kid

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162,277 shares

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There's millions of microorganisms on my body. I am a mothership.

There's millions of microorganisms on my body. I am a mothership. 10 Guy

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I want to drink my oreo shake but oreos keep getting stuck in the straw

I want to drink my oreo shake but oreos keep getting stuck in the straw First World Problems

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225,797 shares

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Don't know who to vote for on tuesday? why not zoidberg?

Don't know who to vote for on tuesday? why not zoidberg? Misc

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68,716 shares

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This bag is so full of fries I can't reach my burger

This bag is so full of fries I can't reach my burger First World Problems

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595,463 shares

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Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds

Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds Paranoid Parrot

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Doesn't have money for rent Buys beer

Doesn't have money for rent Buys beer Scumbag Steve

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89,528 shares

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First Spin on "Wheel of Fortune" Give me an "X"

First Spin on

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125,988 shares

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