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I beat my pregnant wife to the car, so i could open the door for her

I beat my pregnant wife to the car, so i could open the door for her  Successful Black Man
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253,973 shares

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Lonely and can't fall asleep. Forges a makeshift girl made out of pillows to cuddle with.

Lonely and can't fall asleep. Forges a makeshift girl made out of pillows to cuddle with.  Forever Alone
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66,891 shares

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Daylight Saving time Clock in my car will finally be correct.

Daylight Saving time Clock in my car will finally be correct.  Success Kid
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162,150 shares

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There's millions of microorganisms on my body. I am a mothership.

There's millions of microorganisms on my body. I am a mothership.  10 Guy
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148,294 shares

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I want to drink my oreo shake but oreos keep getting stuck in the straw

I want to drink my oreo shake but oreos keep getting stuck in the straw  First World Problems
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225,488 shares

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Don't know who to vote for on tuesday? why not zoidberg?

Don't know who to vote for on tuesday? why not zoidberg?  Misc
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68,713 shares

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This bag is so full of fries I can't reach my burger

This bag is so full of fries I can't reach my burger  First World Problems
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595,201 shares

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Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds

Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds  Paranoid Parrot
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379,310 shares

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Doesn't have money for rent Buys beer

Doesn't have money for rent Buys beer  Scumbag Steve
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89,189 shares

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First Spin on "Wheel of Fortune" Give me an "X"

First Spin on
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125,684 shares

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