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Only drinks Socially 40 years sober

Only drinks Socially 40 years sober Forever Alone

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Attempts to burgle a house Macaulay Culkin's

Attempts to burgle a house Macaulay Culkin's Bad Luck Brian

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The rolling stones means "rock and roll"

The rolling stones means

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i started my practice in 2010 That's right... 14 years of experience

i started my practice in 2010 That's right...
14 years of experience Lawyer Dog

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The amount of people that confuse "to" and "too" Is two damn high

The amount of people that confuse

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getting married can't come up with 4 groomsmen

getting married can't come up with 4 groomsmen Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

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Oh, you're a freshman and pre-med? Should I call you Dr. from now?

Oh, you're a freshman and pre-med? Should I call you Dr.
from now? Condescending Wonka

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ask girl on date "aw you're so cute"

ask girl on date

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YOU'RE A BIG FAN AND WANT AN AUTOGRAPH? THE BEST I CAN DO IS INITIALS

YOU'RE A BIG FAN AND WANT AN AUTOGRAPH? THE BEST I CAN DO IS INITIALS Pawn Star

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Sees friend in the distance looks away until he's close enough to say hello

Sees friend in the distance looks away until he's close enough to say hello Socially Awkward Penguin

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