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One does not simply Tell a female friend you like her

One does not simply Tell a female friend you like her Boromir
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249,434 shares

claims he has no money for the round he owes everyone Buys himself five shots of tequila

claims he has no money for the round he owes everyone Buys himself five shots of tequila Scumbag Steve
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336,897 shares

Not sure if dog is getting smarter Or too lazy to do anything stupid

Not sure if dog is getting smarter Or too lazy to do anything stupid Futurama Fry
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64,033 shares

Restaurant closes at 11:00 Walks in door at 10:59 and stays for 2 hours

Restaurant closes at 11:00 Walks in door at 10:59 and stays for 2 hours Scumbag Steve
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149,106 shares

Have a cookie, oh wait, you're allergic to gluten. Now just look at it and die a little on the inside.

Have a cookie, oh wait, you're allergic to gluten. Now just look at it and die a little on the inside. Scumbag Genetics
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37,180 shares

SURE!!! You can have facial hair YOU'RE A GIRL

SURE!!! You can have facial hair YOU'RE A GIRL Scumbag Genetics
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39,065 shares

Break into paranoid parrot's house twice a week move things around

Break into paranoid parrot's house twice a week move things around Evil Plotting Raccoon
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241,543 shares

Asks to see your phone Then shoves you in pool

Asks to see your phone Then shoves you in pool Good Guy Greg
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339,101 shares

since men think with their penis wouldnt a blowjob be mindblowing?

since men think with their penis wouldnt a blowjob be mindblowing? Philosoraptor
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117,120 shares

Gives you taste buds makes unhealthy food taste good and healthy food taste bad

Gives you taste buds makes unhealthy food taste good and healthy food taste bad Scumbag Genetics
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28,223 shares