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last member of his species is female She's his underage cousin

last member of his species is female She's his underage cousin Forever Alone Superman
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125,437 shares

Not sure if I like him or I'm really desperate

Not sure if I like him or I'm really desperate Leela Futurama
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19,472 shares

Scalding hot coffee for a friend "I'm going to dip my dick in it!"

Scalding hot coffee for a friend
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16,422 shares

Go to store to buy condoms Leave with gum

Go to store to buy condoms Leave with gum Socially Awksome Penguin
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13,823 shares

Becomes a billionaire to join the 1% because the other 99% were to mainstream

Becomes a billionaire to join the 1% because the other 99% were to mainstream Hipster Barista
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24,334 shares

tells everyone we're an 8 - 5 company shows up every day after 9

tells everyone we're an 8 - 5 company shows up every day after 9 Scumbag Boss
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17,379 shares

I don't always stare off into space while lost in deep thought but when i do, I'm usually caught staring at someones boobs

I don't always stare off into space while lost in deep thought but when i do, I'm usually caught staring at someones boobs The Most Interesting Man In The World
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13,544 shares

"Do your chores. It builds Character" Hires maid
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18,413 shares

Crap where is my passport Good it is still where it was twenty seconds ago

Crap where is my passport Good it is still where it was twenty seconds ago Paranoid Parrot
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20,402 shares

I don't always click on NSFW links but when I do, I'm disappointed there's no nudity

I don't always click on NSFW links but when I do, I'm disappointed there's no nudity The Most Interesting Man In The World
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194,534 shares