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I don't always teach Shakespeare in class but when I do I go out of my way to point out every dirty joke and sexual innuendo

I don't always teach Shakespeare in class but when I do I go out of my way to point out every dirty joke and sexual innuendo The Most Interesting Man In The World
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I'll have you know that I completely untangled my earphones And I only said Seriously and God dammit 17 times

I'll have you know that I completely untangled my earphones And I only said Seriously and God dammit 17 times Tough Spongebob
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Last time i got some ass my fingers went through the toilet paper

Last time i got some ass my fingers went through the toilet paper Forever Alone
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claims he can't afford to pay rent goes out drinking every other night

claims he can't afford to pay rent goes out drinking every other night Scumbag Steve
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Told my boss i've been getting slightly overpaid for the last 2 months upped my salary by 3K a year

Told my boss i've been getting slightly overpaid for the last 2 months upped my salary by 3K a year Success Kid
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556,941 shares

being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad

being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad Sudden Clarity Clarence
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489,587 shares

Not sure if I'm extremely ugly that no one wants to sit next to me or I'm so attractive that I intimidate people

Not sure if I'm extremely ugly that no one wants to sit next to me or I'm so attractive that I intimidate people Futurama Fry
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The three treadmills to my left were open and she chose the one right next to me So I guess you can say things are getting pretty serious

The three treadmills to my left were open and she chose the one right next to me So I guess you can say things are getting pretty serious Things are getting pretty serious
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559,164 shares

Not sure if "Under Pressure" Or "Ice Ice Baby"

Not sure if
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If you're a hardcore creationist and you take a historical geology class You're gonna have a bad time

If you're a hardcore creationist and you take a historical geology class You're gonna have a bad time Super Cool Ski Instructor
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76,724 shares