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just started dating a girl her birthday was 2 weeks ago

just started dating a girl her birthday was 2 weeks ago Success Kid
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385,663 shares

I had a heart attack last night But I didn't want to wake you so I just powered through it

I had a heart attack last night But I didn't want to wake you so I just powered through it overly manly man
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524,802 shares

i can't sit comfortably because there's too much money in my wallet

i can't sit comfortably because there's too much money in my wallet First World Problems
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209,582 shares

Eats a meal in his room Dishes don't emerge for weeks

Eats a meal in his room Dishes don't emerge for weeks Scumbag Steve
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268,043 shares

My asshole boss ate a whole bag of Beggin' Strips dog treats thinking they were bacon snacks and I didn't say a word because I was tired of his shit

My asshole boss ate a whole bag of Beggin' Strips dog treats thinking they were bacon snacks and I didn't say a word because I was tired of his shit Confession Bear
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406,853 shares

My mother used to write erotic "romance" novels under a pseudonym. I found a box of them in her closet and would furiously masturbate to them till I found out she wrote them

My mother used to write erotic
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196,794 shares

I sent a text to my crush but the pony express was ambushed by indians

I sent a text to my crush but the pony express was ambushed by indians 1890s Problems
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182,074 shares

She laughed when she saw me I laughed when nobody saw her again

She laughed when she saw me I laughed when nobody saw her again Karate Kyle
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109,044 shares

Not sure if in a really bad mood Or if everyone is just fucking annoying

Not sure if in a really bad mood Or if everyone is just fucking annoying Futurama Fry
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483,985 shares

Does simple math calculation in head, better check it on my calculator just in case.

Does simple math calculation in head, better check it on my calculator just in case. Paranoid Parrot
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86,852 shares