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Can't function at 8am on a weekday after a good nights rest Up at 7am on the weekend after a night of debauchery

Can't function at 8am on a weekday after a good nights rest Up at 7am on the weekend after a night of debauchery Scumbag Brain
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17,329 shares

"No offense, but..." is offensive
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23,044 shares

going to the store better tell everyone

going to the store better tell everyone Annoying Facebook Girl
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31,811 shares

cease all activities thou art engaged in the hour of the hammer is upon us

cease all activities thou art engaged in the hour of the hammer is upon us Joseph Ducreux
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260,355 shares

1 downvote delete

1 downvote delete Paranoid Parrot
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29,632 shares

send out text place phone under balls, wait for response

send out text place phone under balls, wait for response Foul Bachelor Frog
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121,912 shares

Barks at Strangers not at the pizza guy

Barks at Strangers not at the pizza guy Good Dog Greg
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71,406 shares

Rents hooker for the night Gives her the night off

Rents hooker for the night Gives her the night off Good Guy Greg
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27,850 shares

never wins foot races always coming in a little behind

never wins foot races always coming in a little behind Pedobear
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185,047 shares

Every Morning, I'd watch my dad drink a tall glass of orange juice as part of a healthy breakfast

Every Morning, I'd watch my dad drink a tall glass of orange juice as part of a healthy breakfast Successful Black Man
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29,103 shares