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Helps pay for your college brings it up every time she's mad at you

Helps pay for your college brings it up every time she's mad at you Sheltering Suburban Mom
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20,852 shares

The gingerbread man is too fast? Gingersnap his kneecaps.

The gingerbread man is too fast? Gingersnap his kneecaps. Baby Godfather
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32,075 shares

Use glass for water. Still clean.

Use glass for water. Still clean. Foul Bachelor Frog
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15,290 shares

routinely gets other people arrested is high as fuck 24/7

routinely gets other people arrested is high as fuck 24/7 Irrational Shaggy
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99,738 shares

In-Dash GPS in Luxury SUV won't find a Starbucks "OMG MY CARS SO GETTO"

In-Dash GPS in Luxury SUV won't find a Starbucks
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19,935 shares

I don't care if you have to check his diaper. Make sure he ain't wearing no baby monitor.

I don't care if you have to check his diaper. Make sure he ain't wearing no baby monitor. Baby Godfather
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51,750 shares

No food in dorm and cafeteria is closed OD on gummi vitamins

No food in dorm and cafeteria is closed OD on gummi vitamins College Freshman
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25,198 shares

complains about not being drunk didn't bring any alcohol

complains about not being drunk didn't bring any alcohol College Freshman
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20,327 shares

tommy didn't invite me to his birthday party he better enjoy it because it is going to be his last.

tommy didn't invite me to his birthday party he better enjoy it because it is going to be his last. Baby Godfather
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19,003 shares

It seems that the temperature is steadily rising Perhaps we should disrobe

It seems that the temperature is steadily rising Perhaps we should disrobe Joseph Ducreux
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32,997 shares