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Wow, We've been dating for nine months. We could have had a baby by now.

Wow, We've been dating for nine months. We could have had a baby by now. Overly Attached Girlfriend
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232,432 shares

I'm making you something really nice for your birthday A baby

I'm making you something really nice for your birthday A baby Overly Attached Girlfriend
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386,495 shares

and i shit you not that plane landed right in my mouth

and i shit you not that plane landed right in my mouth drunk baby
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349,664 shares

Got a cute girl's number she texts in complete, articulate sentences

Got a cute girl's number she texts in complete, articulate sentences Success Kid
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603,233 shares

As an only child I'm a third wheel to my parents all the time

As an only child I'm a third wheel to my parents all the time Sudden Clarity Clarence
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356,264 shares

After 45 minutes alone in a restaurant a waiter kindly told me i'd been stood up I was waiting for my family

After 45 minutes alone in a restaurant a waiter kindly told me i'd been stood up I was waiting for my family Socially Awkward Penguin
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789,685 shares

I noticed you fast forward your dvr up to five arrow speed i too like to live dangerously

I noticed you fast forward your dvr up to five arrow speed i too like to live dangerously Dangerously - Austin Powers
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468,529 shares

when ever i only see white people around i assume im in a good neighbourhood

when ever i only see white people around i assume im in a good neighbourhood Confession Bear
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261,019 shares

If your girlfriend starts a conversation with "Can i tell you something without starting a fight?" You're gonna have a bad time

If your girlfriend starts a conversation with
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160,542 shares

You can't clean something Without something else getting dirty

You can't clean something Without something else getting dirty Sudden Clarity Clarence
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539,242 shares