"I wouldn't hook up with you if you were the last man on Earth." "If I were the last man on Earth, you wouldn't even be allowed in line."

Never has awkward moments with girls because girls never talk to me

Never has awkward moments with girls because girls never talk to me  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

In a class of about 200 students "Professor, can I go to the bathroom?"

In a class of about 200 students

GO TO THE CLASSES? NAH, I'LL JUST READ THE TEXTBOOK READ THE TEXTBOOK? NAH I'LL JUST WING IT

GO TO THE CLASSES? NAH, I'LL JUST READ THE TEXTBOOK READ THE TEXTBOOK? NAH I'LL JUST WING IT  Lazy College Senior

i run these streets for my early morning exercise routine

i run these streets for my early morning exercise routine  Successful Black Man

Story must be 1-2 pages? 1 page it is

Story must be 1-2 pages? 1 page it is  Lazy Elementary School Kid

My butt hurts From sitting on my wallet full of cash all day

My butt hurts From sitting on my wallet full of cash all day  First World Problems

I think i left my jacket in your room, can I come get it later? I don't think you've ever been in my room, but I looked around anyway. It's not here.

I think i left my jacket in your room, can I come get it later? I don't think you've ever been in my room, but I looked around anyway. It's not here.  Sexually Oblivious Rhino

I don't always talk to girls I like, but when I do, I... I... Um...

I don't always talk to girls I like, but when I do, I... I... Um...
  The Most Interesting Man In The World

Not sure if all female redditors are hot or they only make the front page because they're hot.

Not sure if all female redditors are hot or they only make the front page because they're hot.  Futurama Fry