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Yes, my sector is reporting a loss this quarter but don't worry we always land on our feet

Yes, my sector is reporting a loss this quarter but don't worry we always land on our feet Business Cat
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176,425 shares

Turns out girls you're chatting with at party is a lesbian Not anymore

Turns out girls you're chatting with at party is a lesbian Not anymore Socially Awesome Penguin
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35,771 shares

Stayed Up All Night Wondering Where The Sun Went Then It Dawned On Me

Stayed Up All Night Wondering Where The Sun Went Then It Dawned On Me Lame Pun Coon
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120,392 shares

Pretends everyone is nude while giving a speech Gets a BONER

Pretends everyone is nude while giving a speech Gets a BONER Socially Awkward Penguin
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125,508 shares

Wash your tan sheets Turns out they're white sheets

Wash your tan sheets Turns out they're white sheets Foul Bachelor Frog
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45,679 shares

I will cut you up some apples if you want a snack

I will cut you up some apples if you want a snack Dating Site Murderer
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29,957 shares

A rising tide lifts all boats False. Sunken boats are unaffected by tides.

A rising tide lifts all boats False. Sunken boats are unaffected by tides. Schrute
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344,810 shares

Hear people laughing They're talking about me!

Hear people laughing They're talking about me! Paranoid Parrot
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48,725 shares

"let's go around the room and introduce ourselves" rehearse something in head to sound awesome, says something completely dumb instead
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46,058 shares

One pillow is too low Two pillows is too high

One pillow is too low Two pillows is too high First World Problems
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249,617 shares