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Yes, my sector is reporting a loss this quarter but don't worry we always land on our feet

Yes, my sector is reporting a loss this quarter but don't worry we always land on our feet Business Cat
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176,946 shares

Turns out girls you're chatting with at party is a lesbian Not anymore

Turns out girls you're chatting with at party is a lesbian Not anymore Socially Awesome Penguin
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35,895 shares

Stayed Up All Night Wondering Where The Sun Went Then It Dawned On Me

Stayed Up All Night Wondering Where The Sun Went Then It Dawned On Me Lame Pun Coon
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121,039 shares

Pretends everyone is nude while giving a speech Gets a BONER

Pretends everyone is nude while giving a speech Gets a BONER Socially Awkward Penguin
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125,915 shares

Wash your tan sheets Turns out they're white sheets

Wash your tan sheets Turns out they're white sheets Foul Bachelor Frog
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46,066 shares

I will cut you up some apples if you want a snack

I will cut you up some apples if you want a snack Dating Site Murderer
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30,393 shares

A rising tide lifts all boats False. Sunken boats are unaffected by tides.

A rising tide lifts all boats False. Sunken boats are unaffected by tides. Schrute
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345,363 shares

Hear people laughing They're talking about me!

Hear people laughing They're talking about me! Paranoid Parrot
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49,092 shares

"let's go around the room and introduce ourselves" rehearse something in head to sound awesome, says something completely dumb instead
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46,399 shares

One pillow is too low Two pillows is too high

One pillow is too low Two pillows is too high First World Problems
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249,893 shares