Source of life on earth burns you, makes you blind and gives you cancer

Source of life on earth burns you, makes you blind and gives you cancer  Scumbag Sun

Check pocket for phone and wallet Every 3 seconds

Check pocket for phone and wallet Every 3 seconds  Paranoid Parrot

I don't always have pregnancy scares with my girlfriend... but when I do, we celebrate not being pregnant by having more sex.

I don't always have pregnancy scares with my girlfriend... but when I do, we celebrate not being pregnant by having more sex.  The Most Interesting Man In The World

why doesn't tarzan have a beard?

why doesn't tarzan have a beard?
  Philosoraptor

Asked about his stance on the occupy protests Naturally sidesteps the question

Asked about his stance on the occupy protests Naturally sidesteps the question  Fancy Crab

I'm only there when your eyes are closed

I'm only there when your eyes are closed  Horrifying Houseguest

Gentlemen Avoid arguments with the girlfriend about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.

Gentlemen Avoid arguments with the girlfriend about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.
  Top Tip Tit

I don't always wear sweat pants in public but when I do, everything in the world tries to give me a boner

I don't always wear sweat pants in public but when I do, everything in the world tries to give me a boner  The Most Interesting Man In The World

we have 5 more minutes left in class lets take a look at the next chapter

we have 5 more minutes left in class lets take a look at the next chapter  Unhelpful High School Teacher

Nitric Oxide Y U NO?

Nitric Oxide Y U NO?  Y U No