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always check your motorcycle helmet for spiders before you are driving down the highway at 50mph

always check your motorcycle helmet for spiders before you are driving down the highway at 50mph Actual Advice Mallard
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380,754 shares

guy says I'm cute i point to his beer and say 'that's why!'

guy says I'm cute i point to his beer and say 'that's why!' Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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190,709 shares

Not sure if wife's thong or daughter's

Not sure if wife's thong or daughter's Futurama Fry
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534,592 shares

5 page minimum? 5 page maximum

5 page minimum? 5 page maximum Lazy College Senior
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442,503 shares

fights communism to defeat its totalitarian system Embraces totalitarian system to secretly spy on citizens in the name of Freedom.

fights communism to defeat its totalitarian system Embraces totalitarian system to secretly spy on citizens in the name of Freedom. Scumbag america
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105,514 shares

turns off video game as soon as you're about to beat him

turns off video game as soon as you're about to beat him Misc
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123,071 shares

Driving home at night when a furry black animal jumps out of the ditch and I hit it. Stop my car to make sure I didn't run over someone's cat. Gets sprayed by a skunk.

Driving home at night when a furry black animal jumps out of the ditch and I hit it. Stop my car to make sure I didn't run over someone's cat. Gets sprayed by a skunk. Bad Luck Brian
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90,791 shares

The government says "If you're not doing anything wrong, you shouldn't have anything to hide." If that is true, shouldn't the government declassify everything?

The government says
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774,827 shares

Met up with a girl from the internet she is more attractive than in her pictures

Met up with a girl from the internet she is more attractive than in her pictures Success Kid
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189,227 shares

lift up hot girl onto my shoulders at house party fart really loudly from struggling with the weight then drop her on her face in front of 30 people

lift up hot girl onto my shoulders at house party fart really loudly from struggling with the weight then drop her on her face in front of 30 people Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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289,837 shares