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always check your motorcycle helmet for spiders before you are driving down the highway at 50mph

always check your motorcycle helmet for spiders before you are driving down the highway at 50mph Actual Advice Mallard
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381,510 shares

guy says I'm cute i point to his beer and say 'that's why!'

guy says I'm cute i point to his beer and say 'that's why!' Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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191,211 shares

Not sure if wife's thong or daughter's

Not sure if wife's thong or daughter's Futurama Fry
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535,327 shares

5 page minimum? 5 page maximum

5 page minimum? 5 page maximum Lazy College Senior
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443,199 shares

fights communism to defeat its totalitarian system Embraces totalitarian system to secretly spy on citizens in the name of Freedom.

fights communism to defeat its totalitarian system Embraces totalitarian system to secretly spy on citizens in the name of Freedom. Scumbag america
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105,740 shares

turns off video game as soon as you're about to beat him

turns off video game as soon as you're about to beat him Misc
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123,264 shares

Driving home at night when a furry black animal jumps out of the ditch and I hit it. Stop my car to make sure I didn't run over someone's cat. Gets sprayed by a skunk.

Driving home at night when a furry black animal jumps out of the ditch and I hit it. Stop my car to make sure I didn't run over someone's cat. Gets sprayed by a skunk. Bad Luck Brian
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91,544 shares

The government says "If you're not doing anything wrong, you shouldn't have anything to hide." If that is true, shouldn't the government declassify everything?

The government says
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775,672 shares

Met up with a girl from the internet she is more attractive than in her pictures

Met up with a girl from the internet she is more attractive than in her pictures Success Kid
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189,923 shares

lift up hot girl onto my shoulders at house party fart really loudly from struggling with the weight then drop her on her face in front of 30 people

lift up hot girl onto my shoulders at house party fart really loudly from struggling with the weight then drop her on her face in front of 30 people Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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290,461 shares