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Actual Advice Mallard

After searching something raunchy on your phone, always close the website You don't know who will be near you when you next open your browser

After searching something raunchy on your phone, always close the website You don't know who will be near you when you next open your browser Actual Advice Mallard
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When your girlfriend says she doesn't want a gift... she wants you to *want* to give her one, not to feel obligated to.

When your girlfriend says she doesn't want a gift... she wants you to *want* to give her one, not to feel obligated to. Actual Advice Mallard
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If waiter asks "Have you been here before?" tell them no, you'll get better/faster service and food

If waiter asks
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have a medium/small penis? date an asian girl

have a medium/small penis? date an asian girl Actual Advice Mallard
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If you had good advice in the comment section Turn it into a meme before someone else does

If you had good advice in the comment section Turn it into a meme before someone else does Actual Advice Mallard
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if you visit the same restaurant often, leave generous tip's. You will notice the service get's better when you return.

if you visit the same restaurant often, leave generous tip's. You will notice the service get's better when you return. Actual Advice Mallard
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After cooking bacon, pour the grease into a discarded vegetable can If you pour it down the drain, you will be calling the plumber within a year

After cooking bacon, pour the grease into a discarded vegetable can If you pour it down the drain, you will be calling the plumber within a year Actual Advice Mallard
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For perfect pasta Cook it at least two minutes longer than suggested for al dente

For perfect pasta Cook it at least two minutes longer than suggested for al dente Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're sick or feeling bad, DRINK WATER. It will cleanse your body of it's poisons.

If you're sick or feeling bad, DRINK WATER. It will cleanse your body of it's poisons. Actual Advice Mallard
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Treat your employees with respect they'll be more loyal, enthused, and work harder

Treat your employees with respect they'll be more loyal, enthused, and work harder Actual Advice Mallard
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