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Actual Advice Mallard

If you usually forget to silence your phone in classes Set your ringtone to a yawn or sneeze

If you usually forget to silence your phone in classes Set your ringtone to a yawn or sneeze Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're drunk and striking out with a girl Persistence won't help. Find somebody else.

If you're drunk and striking out with a girl Persistence won't help. Find somebody else. Actual Advice Mallard
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brush your teeth between meals everything tastes terrible with toothpaste

brush your teeth between meals everything tastes terrible with toothpaste Actual Advice Mallard
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He's not going to leave his wife

He's not going to leave his wife Actual Advice Mallard
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dont hit your children unless you want them to turn into assholes just like yourself

dont hit your children unless you want them to turn into assholes just like yourself Actual Advice Mallard
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Want to get rid of dead weight from the company Conduct Surprise mandatory drug tests the Monday after 4/20

Want to get rid of dead weight from the company Conduct Surprise mandatory drug tests the Monday after 4/20 Actual Advice Mallard
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if the professor stops the exam to make a correction on a multiple choice question the corrected answer is the right answer

if the professor stops the exam to make a correction on a multiple choice question the corrected answer is the right answer Actual Advice Mallard
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A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything

A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything Actual Advice Mallard
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if you don't want to ruin the print on your shirt then turn it inside out before washing it.

if you don't want to ruin the print on your shirt then turn it inside out before washing it. Actual Advice Mallard
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We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us If we could know how seldom they do

We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us If we could know how seldom they do Actual Advice Mallard
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