Actual Advice Mallard

If you usually forget to silence your phone in classes Set your ringtone to a yawn or sneeze

If you usually forget to silence your phone in classes Set your ringtone to a yawn or sneeze  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're drunk and striking out with a girl Persistence won't help. Find somebody else.

If you're drunk and striking out with a girl
 Persistence won't help. Find somebody else.  Actual Advice Mallard

brush your teeth between meals everything tastes terrible with toothpaste

brush your teeth between meals everything tastes terrible with toothpaste  Actual Advice Mallard

He's not going to leave his wife

 He's not going to leave his wife  Actual Advice Mallard

dont hit your children unless you want them to turn into assholes just like yourself

dont hit your children unless you want them to turn into assholes just like yourself  Actual Advice Mallard

Want to get rid of dead weight from the company Conduct Surprise mandatory drug tests the Monday after 4/20

Want to get rid of dead weight from the company Conduct Surprise mandatory drug tests the Monday after 4/20  Actual Advice Mallard

if the professor stops the exam to make a correction on a multiple choice question the corrected answer is the right answer

if the professor stops the exam to make a correction on a multiple choice question the corrected answer is the right answer  Actual Advice Mallard

A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything

A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything  Actual Advice Mallard

if you don't want to ruin the print on your shirt then turn it inside out before washing it.

if you don't want to ruin the print on your shirt   then turn it inside out before washing it.  Actual Advice Mallard

We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us If we could know how seldom they do

We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us If we could know how seldom they do  Actual Advice Mallard
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