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Actual Advice Mallard

If you want to get a huge tip and a good reference Leave the house cleaner than when you found it

If you want to get a huge tip and a good reference Leave the house cleaner than when you found it Actual Advice Mallard
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If you eat lunch outside be sure to bring extra food for local animals - especially ducks

If you eat lunch outside be sure to bring extra food for local animals - especially ducks Actual Advice Mallard
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Instead of telling someone who wants to hang out that you will... just fucking do it. Be an actual friend. You may need them one day.

Instead of telling someone who wants to hang out that you will... just fucking do it. Be an actual friend. You may need them one day. Actual Advice Mallard
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If it's spicy going in It will be spicy coming out

If it's spicy going in It will be spicy coming out Actual Advice Mallard
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ALways choose the fattest girl at Dairy queen They'll scoop your ice cream like they're scooping it for themselves

ALways choose the fattest girl at Dairy queen They'll scoop your ice cream like they're scooping it for themselves Actual Advice Mallard
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chop onions near the ignited stove top to avoid crying the open flame burns the onion's chemical that makes your eyes tear up

chop onions near the ignited stove top to avoid crying the open flame burns the onion's chemical that makes your eyes tear up Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't spend time writing teeth into contracts Spend time finding partners you won't have to sue

Don't spend time writing teeth into contracts Spend time finding partners you won't have to sue Actual Advice Mallard
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If you sub-consciously exit your browser It's time to go to bed

If you sub-consciously exit your browser It's time to go to bed Actual Advice Mallard
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Mother's day Was yesterday

Mother's day Was yesterday Actual Advice Mallard
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If you dreamt about your grandparents the night before Go see them

If you dreamt about your grandparents the night before Go see them Actual Advice Mallard
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