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Actual Advice Mallard
Learn to dance with your fiance before your wedding Swaying back-and-forth for 3 minutes is embarrassing
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If your car is about to be towed Be an adult and accept the CONSEQUENCE of your false parking
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If a woman says you don't need to buy her a birthday gift because you just bought her an engagement ring You still need to buy her a birthday gift
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Don't ever leave your phone on the back of a car, no matter for how long. Ever.
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If you know you are going out drinking eat multiple small meals a huge meal will make you tired
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Put a 6 pack of your favourite beer in the freezer and drink one after 30, 45, 60, 75, 90, 105 minutes Now you know how long to put a beer in the freezer for during a warm beer emergency
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If you look through Obama's facebook photo comments Youre going to have a bad time
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FAPPING WITH THE HEATER ON? OPEN THE WINDOW SO IT DOESN'T SMELL SO BAD
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use powerade as a chaser its cheap, it hydrates, and makes the hangover a little less worse
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Feed your newborn baby bifidus supplements So its shit smells as sweet as yogurt
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