Actual Advice Mallard

If you don't want to get raped while intoxicated Don't party with douchebags

If you don't want to get raped while intoxicated Don't party with douchebags  Actual Advice Mallard

if you can't handle a chicago winter migrate south

if you can't handle a chicago winter  migrate south  Actual Advice Mallard

Having trouble scooping the ice cream? Put spoon in hot water for a minute

Having trouble scooping the ice cream? Put spoon in hot water for a minute  Actual Advice Mallard

If you need a duck to tell you not to cheat on your significant other your significant other is probably NOT a significant other to you

If you need a duck to tell you not to cheat on your significant other your significant other is probably NOT a significant other to you  Actual Advice Mallard

put a cup of water in the microwave to keep food from overheating

put a cup of water
 in the microwave to keep food 
from overheating  Actual Advice Mallard

If you see something that needs to be done Do it before someone has to tell you to

If you see something that needs to be done Do it before someone has to tell you to  Actual Advice Mallard

Hey guys: A paternity test is available for around 20 bucks at your neighborhood pharmacy

Hey guys: A paternity test is available for around 20 bucks at your neighborhood pharmacy  Actual Advice Mallard

If a girl is willing to cheat on her boyfriend with you Then she is willing to cheat on you with someone else

If a girl is willing to cheat on her boyfriend with you  Then she is willing to cheat on you with someone else  Actual Advice Mallard

After a Shower Pull the curtain open to dry, then you won't get mildew growing from the moisture

After a Shower Pull the curtain open to dry, then you won't get mildew growing from the moisture   Actual Advice Mallard

IF YOU LEAVE MEN SUBTLE HINTS WE WILL MISSINTERPRET THEM

IF YOU LEAVE MEN SUBTLE HINTS WE WILL MISSINTERPRET THEM  Actual Advice Mallard
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