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Actual Advice Mallard

if you're falling asleep while driving pull over and take a nap

if you're falling asleep while driving pull over and take a nap Actual Advice Mallard
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When attacking someone in self defense Make sure the only thing you tell police is "I feared for my life'"

When attacking someone in self defense Make sure the only thing you tell police is
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If your confession bear post works just as well with success kid It's not a real confession

If your confession bear post works just as well with success kid It's not a real confession Actual Advice Mallard
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If you only have time to clean one room before she comes over, clean the bathroom If you only have time to clean one thing in the bathroom, clean the toilet

If you only have time to clean one room before she comes over, clean the bathroom If you only have time to clean one thing in the bathroom, clean the toilet Actual Advice Mallard
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if you're on fire peeing in your pants can help keep your junk from getting burned

if you're on fire peeing in your pants can help keep your junk from getting burned Actual Advice Mallard
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Thinking of posting a meme about the safe? Masturbate and then decide if it's still a good idea

Thinking of posting a meme about the safe? Masturbate and then decide if it's still a good idea Actual Advice Mallard
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Tired of splashback when you poo? Lay down a couple layers of toilet paper on top of the water before you go.

Tired of splashback when you poo? Lay down a couple layers of toilet paper on top of the water before you go. Actual Advice Mallard
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Frustrated by automated directory assistance Press 0, nine out of ten times it takes you straight to a live operators

Frustrated by automated directory assistance Press 0, nine out of ten times it takes you straight to a live operators Actual Advice Mallard
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If you don't want to get chased by a Hyundai Avoid psycho women

If you don't want to get chased by a Hyundai Avoid psycho women Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're going to make the front page Spell words correctly

If you're going to make the front page Spell words correctly Actual Advice Mallard
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