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Actual Advice Mallard

If you are going out to eat in hopes of getting laid by the waitress for tipping well Just buy a pizza and a hooker

If you are going out to eat in hopes of getting laid by the waitress for tipping well Just buy a pizza and a hooker Actual Advice Mallard
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If that's the most a woman is going to hurt you stay ahead, you're lucky

If that's the most a woman is going to hurt you stay ahead, you're lucky Actual Advice Mallard
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If you find yourself stranded in your car during a blizzard. Use your keys to cut open your seats and place the seat insulation between your body and your clothes. It will keep you warm until help arrives.

If you find yourself stranded in your car during a blizzard. Use your keys to cut open your seats and place the seat insulation between your body and your clothes. It will keep you warm until help arrives. Actual Advice Mallard
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If your younger son says your older son hurt him, and your older son denies it believe your younger son

If your younger son says your older son hurt him, and your older son denies it believe your younger son Actual Advice Mallard
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having a bad day? Just think. you got to live in the era of morgan freeman

having a bad day? Just think. you got to live in the era of morgan freeman Actual Advice Mallard
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Never judge a girl on her looks You never know what she will look like when she's older

Never judge a girl on her looks You never know what she will look like when she's older Actual Advice Mallard
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Dont visit and subreddits with the word "clop" in their name Unless you want to be scarred for life

Dont visit and subreddits with the word
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If you're lost and need directions ask anyone. there's a 99% chance they live in the area.

If you're lost and need directions ask anyone. there's a 99% chance they live in the area. Actual Advice Mallard
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Put your alarm clock on the other side of the room You'll need to get out of bed to turn it off

Put your alarm clock on the other side of the room You'll need to get out of bed to turn it off Actual Advice Mallard
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Father's day is two weeks from today Get your presents now to avoid delivery screw ups, last minute stress, and possibly forgetting

Father's day is two weeks from today Get your presents now to avoid delivery screw ups, last minute stress, and possibly forgetting Actual Advice Mallard
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