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Actual Advice Mallard

WEAR A VERY CREAMY AND BRIGHT COLORED LIPSTICK AROUND THE HOUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO RISK SMUDGING IT WITH FOOD, DO YOU?

WEAR A VERY CREAMY AND BRIGHT COLORED LIPSTICK AROUND THE HOUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO RISK SMUDGING IT WITH FOOD, DO YOU? Actual Advice Mallard
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3,425 shares

To keep an automatic flush toilet from flushing before you're ready drape a piece of toilet paper over the sensor before you sit down

To keep an automatic flush toilet from flushing before you're ready drape a piece of toilet paper over the sensor before you sit down Actual Advice Mallard
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3,414 shares

If you don't like an ingredient at at a restaurant Tell the server you're allergic. Chefs hate picky eaters, but care about people with allergies

If you don't like an ingredient at at a restaurant Tell the server you're allergic. Chefs hate picky eaters, but care about people with allergies Actual Advice Mallard
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3,408 shares

Asking, "where did you get it," on /r/trees makes you look like a nark

Asking,
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3,405 shares

Don't kill people

Don't kill people Actual Advice Mallard
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3,401 shares

Always keep your fresh toilet paper rolls within arms reach of the toilet Just do it

Always keep your fresh toilet paper rolls within arms reach of the toilet Just do it Actual Advice Mallard
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3,397 shares

pushups and situps are all you need to get buff

pushups and situps are all you need to get buff Actual Advice Mallard
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3,396 shares

if your relationship started by someone cheating with you don't be surprised when they cheat on you

if your relationship started by someone cheating with you don't be surprised when they cheat on you Actual Advice Mallard
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3,393 shares

If you ever feel like publicly molesting someone Look for an Asian girl, they won't report you due to not knowing their rights due to public abuse being normal where they come from.

If you ever feel like publicly molesting someone Look for an Asian girl, they won't report you due to not knowing their rights due to public abuse being normal where they come from. Actual Advice Mallard
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3,384 shares

If you have heartburn but no antacids Toothpaste works just as well

If you have heartburn but no antacids Toothpaste works just as well Actual Advice Mallard
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3,374 shares

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