Actual Advice Mallard

Are you having trouble getting your friends together for historic reenactments? Take a fistful of laxatives and jump in the bath. Check it out! You're reenacting the BP oil spill!

Are you having trouble getting your friends together for historic reenactments? Take a fistful of laxatives and jump in the bath. Check it out! You're reenacting the BP oil spill!  Actual Advice Mallard

Keep in touch with family and distant family as best you can. They might just win the lotto.

Keep in touch with family and distant family as best you can. They might just win the lotto.  Actual Advice Mallard

If you get road rage, drive four car lengths behind the car into front of you Then you can wade in the pond at your leisure.

If you get road rage, drive four car lengths behind the car into front of you Then you can wade in the pond at your leisure.  Actual Advice Mallard

If you enjoy eating at McDonalds, good for you Don't let middle class snobs put you down

If you enjoy eating at McDonalds, good for you Don't let middle class snobs put you down  Actual Advice Mallard

if the only room in your home that anyone wants to be in is the unfinished basement/storage facility It's time to clean your fucking house.

if the only room in your home that anyone wants to be in is the unfinished basement/storage facility It's time to clean your fucking house.  Actual Advice Mallard

don't ever flush condoms they might float back up or cause other embarrassing trouble

don't ever flush condoms they might float back up or cause other embarrassing trouble  Actual Advice Mallard

If you want to conceal something written in pen Don't scratch it out -- write over it with more words

If you want to conceal something written in pen Don't scratch it out -- write over it with more words  Actual Advice Mallard

don't worry about being nuked by north korea they don't have any missiles that can reach the Us.

don't worry about being nuked by north korea they don't have any missiles that can reach the Us.  Actual Advice Mallard

IF A BLACK GUY OFFERS YOU PILLS AT THE PERRY'S STAGE DON'T TAKE THEM

IF A BLACK GUY OFFERS YOU PILLS AT THE PERRY'S STAGE DON'T TAKE THEM  Actual Advice Mallard

If you live like you were dying but don't die People won't want to help you because they see pictures of you traveling and drinking your money away

If you live like you were dying but don't die People won't want to help you because they see pictures of you traveling and drinking your money away  Actual Advice Mallard
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