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Actual Advice Mallard

If you have recently started bleeding from your rectum get off redit and go see a doctor

If you have recently started bleeding from your rectum get off redit and go see a doctor Actual Advice Mallard
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Has a corkscrew penis Gets accused of rampant duck rape

Has a corkscrew penis Gets accused of rampant duck rape Actual Advice Mallard
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Feeling down? Do some basic cleaning. While it might not be the most productive thing you could be doing, the sense of accomplishment will lift your spirits.

Feeling down? Do some basic cleaning. While it might not be the most productive thing you could be doing, the sense of accomplishment will lift your spirits. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're an 18 to 21 year-old guy and you're getting frustrated because of lack of success with girls Relax and be patient because girls have the advantage at this age because they can date older guys. Things even out around age 24

If you're an 18 to 21 year-old guy and you're getting frustrated because of lack of success with girls Relax and be patient because girls have the advantage at this age because they can date older guys. Things even out around age 24 Actual Advice Mallard
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If you want your goddamm internet points so much Don't say that it's your cakeday. We can clearly see the cake next to your name.

If you want your goddamm internet points so much Don't say that it's your cakeday. We can clearly see the cake next to your name. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you openly talk about stealing while shopping and happen to be standing next to an employee don't act like a jerk when said employee starts following you

If you openly talk about stealing while shopping and happen to be standing next to an employee don't act like a jerk when said employee starts following you Actual Advice Mallard
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obvious bullshit that everyone fucking knows

obvious bullshit that everyone fucking knows Actual Advice Mallard
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do you hate it when water splashes you when you're pooping? lay down some toilet paper in the the bowl before you do the doo

do you hate it when water splashes you when you're pooping? lay down some toilet paper in the the bowl before you do the doo Actual Advice Mallard
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When your gilrfriend has a bad makeup DON'T TELL HER

When your gilrfriend has a bad makeup DON'T TELL HER Actual Advice Mallard
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Always keep your head on a swivel Or you will end up laying on the ground, gasping for air

Always keep your head on a swivel Or you will end up laying on the ground, gasping for air Actual Advice Mallard
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