Actual Advice Mallard

If she weighs the same as me... Then she's made of wood...and therefore...

If she weighs the same as me... Then she's made of wood...and therefore...  Actual Advice Mallard

Put crushed dog treats in your pockets and shoes her dog will climb all over you and think you are a good guy

Put crushed dog treats in your pockets and shoes her dog will climb all over you and think you are a good guy  Actual Advice Mallard

People don't remember how cool you were in high school They remember how much you fucked your life afterwards

People don't remember how cool you were in high school They remember how much you fucked your life afterwards  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're going to a concert Try to take a shower and brush your teeth beforehand

If you're going to a concert Try to take a shower and brush your teeth beforehand  Actual Advice Mallard

rack your weights means put the fucking weights back where you got them

rack your weights means put the fucking weights back where you got them  Actual Advice Mallard

If you run a once highly successful site that is now in a landslide decline of users It probably isn't the time to develop your own brand phone

If you run a once highly successful site that is now in a landslide decline of users It probably isn't the time to develop your own brand phone  Actual Advice Mallard

If you get a piece of egg shell in your eggs scoop it out with the rest of the egg

If you get a piece of egg shell in your eggs scoop it out with the rest of the egg  Actual Advice Mallard

If you need a wingman Make sure he isn't better looking than you

If you need a wingman Make sure he isn't better looking than you  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't do drugs

 Don't do drugs  Actual Advice Mallard

If I hear that you are disrespecting a woman I will kick your ass

If I hear that you are disrespecting a woman I will kick your ass  Actual Advice Mallard
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