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Actual Advice Mallard

If she weighs the same as me... Then she's made of wood...and therefore...

If she weighs the same as me... Then she's made of wood...and therefore... Actual Advice Mallard
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Put crushed dog treats in your pockets and shoes her dog will climb all over you and think you are a good guy

Put crushed dog treats in your pockets and shoes her dog will climb all over you and think you are a good guy Actual Advice Mallard
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People don't remember how cool you were in high school They remember how much you fucked your life afterwards

People don't remember how cool you were in high school They remember how much you fucked your life afterwards Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're going to a concert Try to take a shower and brush your teeth beforehand

If you're going to a concert Try to take a shower and brush your teeth beforehand Actual Advice Mallard
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rack your weights means put the fucking weights back where you got them

rack your weights means put the fucking weights back where you got them Actual Advice Mallard
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If you run a once highly successful site that is now in a landslide decline of users It probably isn't the time to develop your own brand phone

If you run a once highly successful site that is now in a landslide decline of users It probably isn't the time to develop your own brand phone Actual Advice Mallard
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If you get a piece of egg shell in your eggs scoop it out with the rest of the egg

If you get a piece of egg shell in your eggs scoop it out with the rest of the egg Actual Advice Mallard
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If you need a wingman Make sure he isn't better looking than you

If you need a wingman Make sure he isn't better looking than you Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't do drugs

Don't do drugs Actual Advice Mallard
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If I hear that you are disrespecting a woman I will kick your ass

If I hear that you are disrespecting a woman I will kick your ass Actual Advice Mallard
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