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Actual Advice Mallard

If you don't want to get downvoted for something controversal say "i know i'm gonna get downvoted for this" before it

If you don't want to get downvoted for something controversal say
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apply chapstick to anus

apply chapstick to anus Actual Advice Mallard
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Put one leg out of bed hanging down It centers your balance and is surprisingly comfy when drunk

Put one leg out of bed hanging down It centers your balance and is surprisingly comfy when drunk Actual Advice Mallard
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When A douche asks for your number Take his phone and text redcross to 90999 to donate $10 to the families effected by the recent tornado

When A douche asks for your number Take his phone and text redcross to 90999 to donate $10 to the families effected by the recent tornado Actual Advice Mallard
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iPhone/iPod notepad has a definition function that works without service or wifi Type the word into notepad, hit done the hold the screen until options pop up above the word, tap "define"

iPhone/iPod notepad has a definition function that works without service or wifi Type the word into notepad, hit done the hold the screen until options pop up above the word, tap
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tie a knot in one of your earphones then you can tell which is which in the dark

tie a knot in one of your earphones then you can tell which is which in the dark Actual Advice Mallard
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If stray bullets come through the walls of your house It's time to get a new house

If stray bullets come through the walls of your house It's time to get a new house Actual Advice Mallard
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try to avoid letting your fuel tank get below 1/4 of a tank The fuel pump located in the fuel tank needs fuel around it to keep cool and avoid picking up bottom tank debris

try to avoid letting your fuel tank get below 1/4 of a tank The fuel pump located in the fuel tank needs fuel around it to keep cool and avoid picking up bottom tank debris Actual Advice Mallard
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When you make a post dont reply to every comment you will be downvoted to oblivion

When you make a post dont reply to every comment you will be downvoted to oblivion Actual Advice Mallard
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Dress well and look sharp everywhere you go you never know when you might meet a potential employer and they will judge you based on their first impression

Dress well and look sharp everywhere you go you never know when you might meet a potential employer and they will judge you based on their first impression Actual Advice Mallard
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