Actual Advice Mallard

if you go to a jazz show don't clap along, you can't keep time like a drummer and will screw up the band

if you go to a jazz show don't clap along, you can't keep time like a drummer and will screw up the band  Actual Advice Mallard

Show your flight attendants the same respect you would your mom Chances are, she really is somebody else's

Show your flight attendants the same respect you would your mom Chances are, she really is somebody else's  Actual Advice Mallard

DON'T CUT OFF YOUR DICK

DON'T CUT OFF YOUR DICK  Actual Advice Mallard

When you plug headphones into your computer turn the volume down before putting them on

When you plug headphones into your computer turn the volume down before putting them on  Actual Advice Mallard

Get your donuts at a local mom and pop donut shop They are much better than the major franchises

Get your donuts at a local mom and pop donut shop They are much better than the major franchises   Actual Advice Mallard

Last few drops go in your pants? Push up behind your ballsack. There's a u-bend in the urethra where liquid collects. Pushing up will move it along.

Last few drops go in your pants? Push up behind your ballsack. There's a u-bend in the urethra where liquid collects. Pushing up will move it along.  Actual Advice Mallard

include "this will get downvoted" in your post criticizing atheism it will get up votes

include

always look out for motorcycles

always look out for motorcycles  Actual Advice Mallard

Drink coffee It will stimulate the muscles in your chest and make it easier to breathe

Drink coffee It will stimulate the muscles in your chest and make it easier to breathe  Actual Advice Mallard

if you are forgetful about putting things on the stove use one of the many sites dedicated to providing an in-browser alarm.

if you are forgetful about putting things on the stove use one of the many sites dedicated to providing an in-browser alarm.  Actual Advice Mallard
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