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Actual Advice Mallard

If it is a struggle to pull up your zipper admit you are biggger than you were and get new pants

If it is a struggle to pull up your zipper admit you are biggger than you were and get new pants Actual Advice Mallard
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never buy a woman anything until you have made out at least once

never buy a woman anything until you have made out at least once Actual Advice Mallard
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Unsubscribe from /r/adviceanimals

Unsubscribe from /r/adviceanimals Actual Advice Mallard
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want free karma? put any atheisty quote on top of a picture of space then submit to /r/atheism

want free karma? put any atheisty quote on top of a picture of space then submit to /r/atheism Actual Advice Mallard
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Drink more water than you have time to pee out If you always have to pee you'll learn to do tasks more efficiently.

Drink more water than you have time to pee out If you always have to pee you'll learn to do tasks more efficiently. Actual Advice Mallard
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girlfriend hungry? feed her quick

girlfriend hungry? feed her quick Actual Advice Mallard
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just masterbate regardless of the situation

just masterbate regardless of the situation Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't buy a used car that the front rims are much dirtier than the rears if they don't clean or rotate the wheels, they probably don't take care of the rest of the car

Don't buy a used car that the front rims are much dirtier than the rears if they don't clean or rotate the wheels, they probably don't take care of the rest of the car Actual Advice Mallard
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If a girl is upset and won't tell you why Be compassionate, she's probably not telling you because she's afraid you'll get mad or be unsympathetic

If a girl is upset and won't tell you why Be compassionate, she's probably not telling you because she's afraid you'll get mad or be unsympathetic Actual Advice Mallard
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If you don't floss your teeth on a regular basis try it once, the amount of gunk you pull out should disgust you enough into making it a habbit

If you don't floss your teeth on a regular basis try it once, the amount of gunk you pull out should disgust you enough into making it a habbit Actual Advice Mallard
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