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Actual Advice Mallard

Don't get upset when somebody doesn't use a turn signal trusting a turn signal is a good way to get in an accident

Don't get upset when somebody doesn't use a turn signal trusting a turn signal is a good way to get in an accident Actual Advice Mallard
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If your going out for a meal with a date, don't order anything with garlic The smell will linger for ages and it isn't a good smell

If your going out for a meal with a date, don't order anything with garlic The smell will linger for ages and it isn't a good smell Actual Advice Mallard
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Having trouble scooping the ice cream? Run hot water over the spoon, it will cut right through the ice cream.

Having trouble scooping the ice cream? Run hot water over the spoon, it will cut right through the ice cream. Actual Advice Mallard
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Just fucking masturbate in every bathroom.

Just fucking masturbate in every bathroom. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you want people to be there for you in an emergency put ICE next their name in your phone for emergency workers

If you want people to be there for you in an emergency put ICE next their name in your phone for emergency workers Actual Advice Mallard
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Common problem/about to cheat on significant other masturbate

Common problem/about to cheat on significant other masturbate Actual Advice Mallard
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masturbate

masturbate Actual Advice Mallard
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If you want to send a gif through a text copy and paste it as the message

If you want to send a gif through a text copy and paste it as the message Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't eat 2 cans of chili before going to bed

Don't eat 2 cans of chili before going to bed Actual Advice Mallard
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Never use a urinal if you're wearing flip flops

Never use a urinal if you're wearing flip flops Actual Advice Mallard
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