Actual Advice Mallard

If she has bigger hands than you she probably has a bigger penis than you

If she has bigger hands than you she probably has a bigger penis than you  Actual Advice Mallard

toothpaste and table sugar will get sharpie off your skin

toothpaste and table sugar will get sharpie off your skin  Actual Advice Mallard

Knock to check if someone's in the room Not to announce that you are coming in

Knock to check if someone's in the room Not to announce that you are coming in  Actual Advice Mallard

if you want to have a one wipe wonder, put your arms straight in the air and slowly move your knees together while pooping.

if you want to have a one wipe wonder, put your arms straight in the air and slowly move your knees together while pooping.  Actual Advice Mallard

If you see your friend jack on a plane don't yell "Hi jack!"

If you see your friend jack on a plane don't yell

don't go to china

 don't go to china  Actual Advice Mallard

when driving downhill in snow put your car in low gear, the engine will slow down the car and help prevent you skidding out of control

when driving downhill in snow  put your car in low gear, the engine will slow down the car and help prevent you skidding out of control   Actual Advice Mallard

Being embittered due to past experiences doesn't make you sound interesting It's pretty boring, actually

Being embittered due to past experiences doesn't make you sound interesting It's pretty boring, actually  Actual Advice Mallard

As an outgoing, charismatic person i point out when people don't talk To make sure they feel included and heard in a group.

As an outgoing, charismatic person i point out when people don't talk To make sure they feel included and heard in a group.  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't murder

Don't murder   Actual Advice Mallard
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