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Actual Advice Mallard

If she has bigger hands than you she probably has a bigger penis than you

If she has bigger hands than you she probably has a bigger penis than you Actual Advice Mallard
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toothpaste and table sugar will get sharpie off your skin

toothpaste and table sugar will get sharpie off your skin Actual Advice Mallard
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Knock to check if someone's in the room Not to announce that you are coming in

Knock to check if someone's in the room Not to announce that you are coming in Actual Advice Mallard
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if you want to have a one wipe wonder, put your arms straight in the air and slowly move your knees together while pooping.

if you want to have a one wipe wonder, put your arms straight in the air and slowly move your knees together while pooping. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you see your friend jack on a plane don't yell "Hi jack!"

If you see your friend jack on a plane don't yell
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don't go to china

don't go to china Actual Advice Mallard
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when driving downhill in snow put your car in low gear, the engine will slow down the car and help prevent you skidding out of control

when driving downhill in snow put your car in low gear, the engine will slow down the car and help prevent you skidding out of control Actual Advice Mallard
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Being embittered due to past experiences doesn't make you sound interesting It's pretty boring, actually

Being embittered due to past experiences doesn't make you sound interesting It's pretty boring, actually Actual Advice Mallard
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As an outgoing, charismatic person i point out when people don't talk To make sure they feel included and heard in a group.

As an outgoing, charismatic person i point out when people don't talk To make sure they feel included and heard in a group. Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't murder

Don't murder Actual Advice Mallard
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