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Actual Advice Mallard

If you can carry on a conversation on your phone while working out you're not working hard enough

If you can carry on a conversation on your phone while working out you're not working hard enough Actual Advice Mallard
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don't watch a comedy movie's trailer the best jokes are in the trailer

don't watch a comedy movie's trailer the best jokes are in the trailer Actual Advice Mallard
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If you want to play angry birds without adds turn off your internet connections

If you want to play angry birds without adds turn off your internet connections Actual Advice Mallard
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Turn of all chat you will rage considerably less when you don't see the other teams comments

Turn of all chat you will rage considerably less when you don't see the other teams comments Actual Advice Mallard
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When you need to do homework on a nice day Keep your blinds shut, you won't know what your missing

When you need to do homework on a nice day Keep your blinds shut, you won't know what your missing Actual Advice Mallard
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if you have itchy bug bites scratch the area around the bite instead of the bite itself. it will still be satisfying and end up healing faster.

if you have itchy bug bites scratch the area around the bite instead of the bite itself. it will still be satisfying and end up healing faster. Actual Advice Mallard
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If a bouncer asks you to leave leave

If a bouncer asks you to leave leave Actual Advice Mallard
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Quack Quack

Quack Quack Actual Advice Mallard
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"AS THAT VAST SHORE [WASHED] WITH THE FARTHEST SEA, I SHOULD ADVENTURE FOR SUCH MERCHANDISE."
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If you notice a woman isn't wearing underwear you should talk to her

If you notice a woman isn't wearing underwear you should talk to her Actual Advice Mallard
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