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Actual Advice Mallard

Don't ask your friends to help you move. Hire professional movers you cheap ass.

Don't ask your friends to help you move. Hire professional movers you cheap ass. Actual Advice Mallard
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Put your alarm clock farther than an arms length from your bed that way you have to get up to turn it off

Put your alarm clock farther than an arms length from your bed that way you have to get up to turn it off Actual Advice Mallard
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368 shares

It's not a duck it's a mallard

It's not a duck it's a mallard Actual Advice Mallard
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You don't have to pay for sex if you have a girlfriend or fwb... Or a vagina

You don't have to pay for sex if you have a girlfriend or fwb... Or a vagina Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't come up with an original comment come up with the comment everybody else would say, and post it first. they will upvote you!

Don't come up with an original comment come up with the comment everybody else would say, and post it first. they will upvote you! Actual Advice Mallard
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367 shares

Never let your 'Forever alone' friends house sit they will masturbate all over your furniture.

Never let your 'Forever alone' friends house sit they will masturbate all over your furniture. Actual Advice Mallard
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Want a good night's sleep? stretch out all your muscles before bed.

Want a good night's sleep? stretch out all your muscles before bed. Actual Advice Mallard
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Whenever you take a shit Make sure to wipe your ass

Whenever you take a shit Make sure to wipe your ass Actual Advice Mallard
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For all my ladies with color treated hair. Put sunscreen and water in a spray bottle and spray it down when you go swimming. It will keep your color vibrant and your hair healthier during the summer.

For all my ladies with color treated hair. Put sunscreen and water in a spray bottle and spray it down when you go swimming. It will keep your color vibrant and your hair healthier during the summer. Actual Advice Mallard
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367 shares

Be careful when farting in the Apple Store They don't have windows

Be careful when farting in the Apple Store They don't have windows Actual Advice Mallard
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