Actual Advice Mallard

Don't ask your friends to help you move. Hire professional movers you cheap ass.

Don't ask your friends to help you move. Hire professional movers you cheap ass.  Actual Advice Mallard

Put your alarm clock farther than an arms length from your bed that way you have to get up to turn it off

Put your alarm clock farther than an arms length from your bed that way you have to get up to turn it off  Actual Advice Mallard

It's not a duck it's a mallard

It's not a duck it's a mallard  Actual Advice Mallard

You don't have to pay for sex if you have a girlfriend or fwb... Or a vagina

You don't have to pay for sex if you have a girlfriend or fwb... Or a vagina  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't come up with an original comment come up with the comment everybody else would say, and post it first. they will upvote you!

Don't come up with an original comment come up with the comment everybody else would say, and post it first. they will upvote you!  Actual Advice Mallard

Never let your 'Forever alone' friends house sit they will masturbate all over your furniture.

Never let your 'Forever alone' friends house sit they will masturbate all over your furniture.  Actual Advice Mallard

Want a good night's sleep? stretch out all your muscles before bed.

Want a good night's sleep? stretch out all your muscles before bed.  Actual Advice Mallard

Whenever you take a shit Make sure to wipe your ass

Whenever you take a shit Make sure to wipe your ass  Actual Advice Mallard

For all my ladies with color treated hair. Put sunscreen and water in a spray bottle and spray it down when you go swimming. It will keep your color vibrant and your hair healthier during the summer.

For all my ladies with color treated hair.  Put sunscreen and water in a spray bottle and spray it down when you go swimming. It will keep your color vibrant and your hair healthier during the summer.  Actual Advice Mallard

Be careful when farting in the Apple Store They don't have windows

Be careful when farting in the Apple Store They don't have windows  Actual Advice Mallard
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