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Actual Advice Mallard

if you need to get marital advice from a duck your marriage is already in trouble

if you need to get marital advice from a duck your marriage is already in trouble Actual Advice Mallard
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If your UNI friends draw willies on your walls when drunk Hand sanitiser will aid the removal of most inks

If your UNI friends draw willies on your walls when drunk Hand sanitiser will aid the removal of most inks Actual Advice Mallard
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If you hate having tangled headphones fold them in half a few times instead of wrapping them around your fingers

If you hate having tangled headphones fold them in half a few times instead of wrapping them around your fingers Actual Advice Mallard
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Use conditioner on your butt hair in the shower it will ease the wiping process

Use conditioner on your butt hair in the shower it will ease the wiping process Actual Advice Mallard
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nail polish sticky and thick? add a few drops of nail polish remover

nail polish sticky and thick? add a few drops of nail polish remover Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're not sure if you would regret sleeping with a girl Masturbate first, you will be able to think a lot more clearly and not have your penis make all of your decisions.

If you're not sure if you would regret sleeping with a girl Masturbate first, you will be able to think a lot more clearly and not have your penis make all of your decisions. Actual Advice Mallard
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Interested in a cute girl Wait till moulting season in June and strut that plummage like your fertility depends on it. Works every time

Interested in a cute girl Wait till moulting season in June and strut that plummage like your fertility depends on it. Works every time Actual Advice Mallard
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somewhere, some guy is tired of her shit.

somewhere, some guy is tired of her shit. Actual Advice Mallard
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CAN'T GET YOUR GF TO SQUIRT? TRY IT WITH HER STANDING UP

CAN'T GET YOUR GF TO SQUIRT? TRY IT WITH HER STANDING UP Actual Advice Mallard
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if you are susceptible to becoming pissed off over "too soon" jokes after tragedies don't visit /b/ for a week after the incident

if you are susceptible to becoming pissed off over
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