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Actual Advice Mallard

If you are sad Don't listen to sad music

If you are sad Don't listen to sad music Actual Advice Mallard
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If you think something MIGHT be a bad idea when you're drunk. It IS a bad idea.

If you think something MIGHT be a bad idea when you're drunk. It IS a bad idea. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're the type of person who turns off their alarm and accidentally falls asleep again put your alarm where you can't reach it so you actually have to get out of bed to turn it off

If you're the type of person who turns off their alarm and accidentally falls asleep again put your alarm where you can't reach it so you actually have to get out of bed to turn it off Actual Advice Mallard
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Staying at a hotel with no refrigerator Put your drinks in the sink and cover it with ice from the hotel

Staying at a hotel with no refrigerator Put your drinks in the sink and cover it with ice from the hotel Actual Advice Mallard
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Want to get rid of your hangover? Try Weed

Want to get rid of your hangover? Try Weed Actual Advice Mallard
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When GF asks "Do you think she's hot?" Correct answer "She's not like hideous but she's really nothing special"

When GF asks
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Don't eat ducks, ducks have too many bones Eat chicken instead

Don't eat ducks, ducks have too many bones Eat chicken instead Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're stuck in an elevator get off reddit and call 911

If you're stuck in an elevator get off reddit and call 911 Actual Advice Mallard
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if you're looking to commit a homicide don't leave a trail from ducks on reddit, premeditation is 25-life

if you're looking to commit a homicide don't leave a trail from ducks on reddit, premeditation is 25-life Actual Advice Mallard
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Add a slice of bread to your container of brown sugar and it will not get hard and clumpy

Add a slice of bread to your container of brown sugar and it will not get hard and clumpy Actual Advice Mallard
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