Actual Advice Mallard

Don't want your classmate to come to your school and shoot everyone? Stop bullying people. It's usually the cause.

Don't want your classmate to come to your school and shoot everyone? Stop bullying people. It's usually the cause.  Actual Advice Mallard

When using the bathroom in the middle of the night, close one eye before turning on the light, then use that eye to find your way back to bed without bumping into shit.

When using the bathroom in the middle of the night, close one eye before turning on the light, then use that eye to find your way back to bed without bumping into shit.  Actual Advice Mallard

If you kill someone, bury their body under a dog upto 6-10 feet and move out of the country, change your name, and change genders.

If you kill someone, bury their body under a dog upto 6-10 feet and move out of the country, change your name, and change genders.  Actual Advice Mallard

Ms kagna. enough you a duck

Ms kagna. enough  you a duck  Actual Advice Mallard

want good advice without having to see this duck? try /r/lifehacks

want good advice without having to see this duck? try /r/lifehacks  Actual Advice Mallard

When texting a girl, use emoticons girls love emoticons

When texting a girl, use emoticons girls love emoticons  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't take advice From Ducks

Don't take advice From Ducks  Actual Advice Mallard

Shave your ass Your customers will appreciate your attention to detail and assume it carries over to the quality of your work

Shave your ass Your customers will appreciate your attention to detail and assume it carries over to the quality of your work  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're an American woman, get in shape You'll automatically be better looking than half the women in the U.S.

If you're an American woman, get in shape You'll automatically be better looking than half the women in the U.S.  Actual Advice Mallard

Give your wife oral sex If it tastes like your best friend's cum she might be fucking him

Give your wife oral sex If it tastes like your best friend's cum she might be fucking him  Actual Advice Mallard
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