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Actual Advice Mallard

If someone caughs because you are smoking just tell them you are a human being and ask politely to get out of the way

If someone caughs because you are smoking just tell them you are a human being and ask politely to get out of the way Actual Advice Mallard
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If you put your ear up to your girlfriends vagina You can actually hear her say what the fuck are you doing

If you put your ear up to your girlfriends vagina You can actually hear her say what the fuck are you doing Actual Advice Mallard
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If your towel smells like doritos it's time to wash it

If your towel smells like doritos it's time to wash it Actual Advice Mallard
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If you get in a fight Be the first to take your shirt off. If they don't start taking theirs off right away, they probably aren't going to fight you. If they do start, you better get in there and start wailing on them before they're done 'cus they're pro

If you get in a fight Be the first to take your shirt off. If they don't start taking theirs off right away, they probably aren't going to fight you. If they do start, you better get in there and start wailing on them before they're done 'cus they're pro Actual Advice Mallard
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hands dirty and no napkin in sight? Use your socks so you can wipe your hands on them if they get dirty and not your pants

hands dirty and no napkin in sight? Use your socks so you can wipe your hands on them if they get dirty and not your pants Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't turn off your alarm clock until you are physically out of bed

Don't turn off your alarm clock until you are physically out of bed Actual Advice Mallard
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If you want to tell a sick joke and not get downvoted Post the joke on 4chan, print screen and post the picture on r/4chan

If you want to tell a sick joke and not get downvoted Post the joke on 4chan, print screen and post the picture on r/4chan Actual Advice Mallard
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Buy normal yogurt and freeze it it tastes the same as frozen yogurt, because it is the same, and is cheaper

Buy normal yogurt and freeze it it tastes the same as frozen yogurt, because it is the same, and is cheaper Actual Advice Mallard
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WANT A HOT MEAL FROM THE DRIVE THROUGH? ASK FOR PLAIN BURGER AND FRIES WITH NO SALT, THEN ADD OWN CONDIMENTS--SO THEY HAVE TO MAKE THEM FRESH FOR YOU

WANT A HOT MEAL FROM THE DRIVE THROUGH? ASK FOR PLAIN BURGER AND FRIES WITH NO SALT, THEN ADD OWN CONDIMENTS--SO THEY HAVE TO MAKE THEM FRESH FOR YOU Actual Advice Mallard
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Want to browse reddit faster? Download the extension "hover zoom"

Want to browse reddit faster? Download the extension
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