Actual Advice Mallard

If someone caughs because you are smoking just tell them you are a human being and ask politely to get out of the way

If someone caughs because you are smoking just tell them you are a human being and ask politely to get out of the way  Actual Advice Mallard

If you put your ear up to your girlfriends vagina You can actually hear her say what the fuck are you doing

If you put your ear up to your girlfriends vagina You can actually hear her say what the fuck are you doing  Actual Advice Mallard

If your towel smells like doritos it's time to wash it

If your towel smells like doritos it's time to wash it  Actual Advice Mallard

If you get in a fight Be the first to take your shirt off. If they don't start taking theirs off right away, they probably aren't going to fight you. If they do start, you better get in there and start wailing on them before they're done 'cus they're pro

If you get in a fight Be the first to take your shirt off.  If they don't start taking theirs off right away, they probably aren't going to fight you. If they do start, you better get in there and start wailing on them before they're done 'cus they're pro  Actual Advice Mallard

hands dirty and no napkin in sight? Use your socks so you can wipe your hands on them if they get dirty and not your pants

hands dirty and no napkin in sight? Use your socks so you can wipe your hands on them if they get dirty and not your pants  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't turn off your alarm clock until you are physically out of bed

Don't turn off 
your alarm clock until you are 
physically out of bed  Actual Advice Mallard

If you want to tell a sick joke and not get downvoted Post the joke on 4chan, print screen and post the picture on r/4chan

If you want to tell a sick joke and not get downvoted Post the joke on 4chan, print screen and post the picture on r/4chan  Actual Advice Mallard

Buy normal yogurt and freeze it it tastes the same as frozen yogurt, because it is the same, and is cheaper

Buy normal yogurt and freeze it  it tastes the same as frozen yogurt, because it is the same, and is cheaper  Actual Advice Mallard

WANT A HOT MEAL FROM THE DRIVE THROUGH? ASK FOR PLAIN BURGER AND FRIES WITH NO SALT, THEN ADD OWN CONDIMENTS--SO THEY HAVE TO MAKE THEM FRESH FOR YOU

WANT A HOT MEAL FROM THE DRIVE THROUGH? ASK FOR PLAIN BURGER AND FRIES WITH NO SALT, THEN ADD OWN CONDIMENTS--SO THEY HAVE TO MAKE THEM FRESH FOR YOU  Actual Advice Mallard

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