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Actual Advice Mallard
Go to community college for two terms and a university will not even ask for your transcript just proof you took a foreign language
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Need to reach a word count? Add periods after every paragraph and make the font white.
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To quickly remove wrinkles from an article of clothing put it in the dryer with a [clean] wet sock for 5 minutes
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Want your cat to pay attention to you? Ignore it. Cats are more interested in people who ignore them.
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Trying to put on a fitted sheet by yourself? Sorry, you're fucked.
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If you want that sweet, sweet comment karma only comment on new posts with few comments
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if you think girls put you in the friendzone on purpose you'r not ready for a real relationship
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When the superbowl comes to your city Sign up to be a volunteer. They have raffles on tickets and if you win you can go to the game or sell those tickets for a lot of money.
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Minor in something you love, Major in something that will get you a job.
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If it has tits or tires Its Trouble
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