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Actual Advice Mallard

Random boner? Flex your bicep or another muscle to direct blood flow away from your dick

Random boner? Flex your bicep or another muscle to direct blood flow away from your dick Actual Advice Mallard
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There are two things in life you should never give Up and a fuck

There are two things in life you should never give Up and a fuck Actual Advice Mallard
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If you wanna text an ex-girlfriend Masterbate first and then see if you still wanna do it

If you wanna text an ex-girlfriend Masterbate first and then see if you still wanna do it Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't fuss over a busted bracket Nobody has ever made a perfect one

Don't fuss over a busted bracket Nobody has ever made a perfect one Actual Advice Mallard
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Before you pull out of your garage Make sure there aren't any cats on your tires.

Before you pull out of your garage Make sure there aren't any cats on your tires. Actual Advice Mallard
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If you are considering making amateur sex tape... dont.

If you are considering making amateur sex tape... dont. Actual Advice Mallard
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You just gotta be the least shitty option. Just look at The Olive Garden.

You just gotta be the least shitty option. Just look at The Olive Garden. Actual Advice Mallard
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If a guy doesn't use a condom with you He probably hasn't worn one with all the other girls

If a guy doesn't use a condom with you He probably hasn't worn one with all the other girls Actual Advice Mallard
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penises goes into vagina

penises goes into vagina Actual Advice Mallard
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If life gets you down, Pull up your zipper

If life gets you down, Pull up your zipper Actual Advice Mallard
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