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Actual Advice Mallard
Remember Mother's Day is on sunday
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If you don't know what side your gas tank is on There's an arrow on your dashboard
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Always suggest mcdonalds People will either eat mcdonalds or be forced to choose other restaurants
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If your work friends never ask you to hang out They aren't really your friends, just coworkers
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If you're getting married, try to find an amateur or hobbyist photographer The pictures will be the same quality as professional, the day will cost you half as much, and you'll be allowed to make your own copies
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Put it in her ear.
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Do your shoes smell? Put a dryer sheet in your shoes and wear them around for the day
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Don't ask your professor/boss for any favors in front of their colleagues or superiors They are less likely to say yes because they don't want to look weak
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If you feel a lump on one of your balls You may have a problem...
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Treat her right or she'll find someone else that will
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