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Actual Advice Mallard

If you're texting an old photo of a flat tire make sure to crop and resave it so you get a recent timecode.

If you're texting an old photo of a flat tire make sure to crop and resave it so you get a recent timecode. Actual Advice Mallard
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Waitstaff: Don't charge me for soft drinks or tea I'll make up for it in your tip

Waitstaff: Don't charge me for soft drinks or tea I'll make up for it in your tip Actual Advice Mallard
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If you are on reddit and not stuck at work Close the tab and enjoy your life

If you are on reddit and not stuck at work Close the tab and enjoy your life Actual Advice Mallard
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No girlfriend? Girls like clean guys with jobs.

No girlfriend? Girls like clean guys with jobs. Actual Advice Mallard
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Want to get rid of hot Cheetos stain fingers Use olive oil or Vaseline to remove the stains.

Want to get rid of hot Cheetos stain fingers Use olive oil or Vaseline to remove the stains. Actual Advice Mallard
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looks like a yellow dog My beak

looks like a yellow dog My beak Actual Advice Mallard
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squeeze your glutes and flex your quads It'll redirect bloodflow away from your dick to your muscles and get rid of your boner.

squeeze your glutes and flex your quads It'll redirect bloodflow away from your dick to your muscles and get rid of your boner. Actual Advice Mallard
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If a girl has a Birthday "week" She is high maintenance

If a girl has a Birthday
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Ladies: if you don't want men looking at you like you're a steak, Don't dress like dinner.

Ladies: if you don't want men looking at you like you're a steak, Don't dress like dinner. Actual Advice Mallard
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Never listen to me about relationships I spend all my time on reddit just like you

Never listen to me about relationships I spend all my time on reddit just like you Actual Advice Mallard
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