Actual Advice Mallard

If you leave the toliet seat up We will kill you!

If you leave the toliet seat up We will kill you!  Actual Advice Mallard

Hit on the hottest girl there even if you fail, it's not like you're having any less sex with her

Hit on the hottest girl there even if you fail, it's not like you're having any less sex with her  Actual Advice Mallard

IF you feel the need to ask if something you're about to do or say is racist it's racist

IF you feel the need to ask if something you're about to do or say is racist it's racist  Actual Advice Mallard

stale bread? give it to me. quack!

stale bread? give it to me. quack!  Actual Advice Mallard

girl rejects you because you're too nice? it's not because you're too nice.

girl rejects you because you're too nice? it's not because you're too nice.  Actual Advice Mallard

if you correct their grammar you've lost the argument

if you correct their grammar you've lost the argument  Actual Advice Mallard

If someone is using their turn signal Don't turn until you are sure they are turning. Even legally, you may be responsible for violating their right of way.

If someone is using their turn signal Don't turn until you are sure they are turning. Even legally, you may be responsible for violating their right of way.  Actual Advice Mallard

Always put orange peels in the garbage disposal It will make your sink smell fresh for a couple of days.

Always put orange peels in the garbage disposal It will make your sink smell fresh for a couple of days.  Actual Advice Mallard

Women should shave legs and use sheer pantyhose under over knee high skirt You get more compliments that you can handle

Women should shave legs and use sheer pantyhose under over knee high skirt You get more compliments that you can handle  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't lie to your SO.

 Don't lie to your SO.  Actual Advice Mallard
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