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Actual Advice Mallard
If you don't want guys staring at your boobs Wear something less revealing
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Don't try to understand chelsea fans They are crying like babies
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if you're not sure how to spell something, google it The search engine will automatically provide the correct spelling
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Use your fucking turn signal
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If you post me to reddit Don't Use "Actual Advice Mallard" as the title
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When Swimming in a Pond Watch out for killer falcons
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When posting for bisexual group sex on craiglist as a radio host in a major city don't use your real phone number. you are just asking for trouble.
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If the guy behind the counter asks you if you really want their spiciest sauce take a moment to rethink before saying yes
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if you hate confession bear so much, don't just leave comments complaining. do something about it. regularly visit /r/adviceanimals/new/ and downvote all of the ones submitted on the first few pages. This is especially effective 8am-10am EST.
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If you break the cable on your macbook charger, burn it slightly it with a lighter The apple store will think it caught on fire and will replace it for free
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