Actual Advice Mallard

bread is bad for me instead, bring sliced grapes, thawed peas, or birdseed

bread is bad for me instead, bring sliced grapes, thawed peas, or birdseed  Actual Advice Mallard

If you ever get disoriented underwater and don't know which way to swim just follow the bubbles from your breath

If you ever get disoriented underwater and don't know which way to swim just follow the bubbles from your breath  Actual Advice Mallard

when a youtube video is paused, hold down the left arrow key and press the up arrow key you'll start playing snake

when a youtube video is paused, hold down the left arrow key and press the up arrow key you'll start playing snake  Actual Advice Mallard

Can't sleep because of a horror movie you watched Go watch the bloopers to realize its just a movie

Can't sleep because of a horror movie you watched Go watch the bloopers to realize its just a movie  Actual Advice Mallard

if you want a girls number give her yours, if she's interested, she will text you.

if you want a girls number give her yours, if she's interested, she will text you.  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't murder people

Don't murder people  Actual Advice Mallard

If you murder someone, bury the victim 6-10 feet underneath a dead dog Body-sniffing hounds will dig up the dead dog and police will think it's a false positive

If you murder someone, bury the victim 6-10 feet underneath a dead dog Body-sniffing hounds will dig up the dead dog and police will think it's a false positive  Actual Advice Mallard

Salamanders aren't lizards

Salamanders aren't lizards  Actual Advice Mallard

Want to get more enjoyment on reddit? Contribute to a smaller subreddit on a subject you care about. You'll enjoy the community more and they'll actually value your opinion

Want to get more enjoyment  on reddit? Contribute to a smaller subreddit on a subject you care about.  You'll enjoy the community more and they'll actually value your opinion  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're ever homeless and want to get trashed drink boxed wine. After you're done you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow.

If you're ever homeless and want to get trashed drink boxed wine. After you're done you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow.  Actual Advice Mallard
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