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Actual Advice Mallard

bread is bad for me instead, bring sliced grapes, thawed peas, or birdseed

bread is bad for me instead, bring sliced grapes, thawed peas, or birdseed Actual Advice Mallard
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If you ever get disoriented underwater and don't know which way to swim just follow the bubbles from your breath

If you ever get disoriented underwater and don't know which way to swim just follow the bubbles from your breath Actual Advice Mallard
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when a youtube video is paused, hold down the left arrow key and press the up arrow key you'll start playing snake

when a youtube video is paused, hold down the left arrow key and press the up arrow key you'll start playing snake Actual Advice Mallard
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Can't sleep because of a horror movie you watched Go watch the bloopers to realize its just a movie

Can't sleep because of a horror movie you watched Go watch the bloopers to realize its just a movie Actual Advice Mallard
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if you want a girls number give her yours, if she's interested, she will text you.

if you want a girls number give her yours, if she's interested, she will text you. Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't murder people

Don't murder people Actual Advice Mallard
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If you murder someone, bury the victim 6-10 feet underneath a dead dog Body-sniffing hounds will dig up the dead dog and police will think it's a false positive

If you murder someone, bury the victim 6-10 feet underneath a dead dog Body-sniffing hounds will dig up the dead dog and police will think it's a false positive Actual Advice Mallard
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Salamanders aren't lizards

Salamanders aren't lizards Actual Advice Mallard
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Want to get more enjoyment on reddit? Contribute to a smaller subreddit on a subject you care about. You'll enjoy the community more and they'll actually value your opinion

Want to get more enjoyment on reddit? Contribute to a smaller subreddit on a subject you care about. You'll enjoy the community more and they'll actually value your opinion Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're ever homeless and want to get trashed drink boxed wine. After you're done you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow.

If you're ever homeless and want to get trashed drink boxed wine. After you're done you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow. Actual Advice Mallard
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