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Actual Advice Mallard

If you need to sober up but don't want to look weak to your friends Go to the toilet and splash your face with the sink water and drink some.

If you need to sober up but don't want to look weak to your friends Go to the toilet and splash your face with the sink water and drink some. Actual Advice Mallard
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finish too early or go limp with a new hookup? ask her if she wants to go take a shower.. she will still be horny and naked (and it gives you time to re-coup)

finish too early or go limp with a new hookup? ask her if she wants to go take a shower.. she will still be horny and naked (and it gives you time to re-coup) Actual Advice Mallard
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If you are frustrated by long automated phone menues press 0 It will almost always connect you to a real person

If you are frustrated by long automated phone menues press 0 It will almost always connect you to a real person Actual Advice Mallard
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dont rinse white rice since white rice is refined, vitamins are sprayed on the surface

dont rinse white rice since white rice is refined, vitamins are sprayed on the surface Actual Advice Mallard
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If your friend talks shit about his friends behind their backs with you, Chances are, he's talking shit about you with his other friends behind your back

If your friend talks shit about his friends behind their backs with you, Chances are, he's talking shit about you with his other friends behind your back Actual Advice Mallard
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Every 30 minutes do 30 jumping jacks or jog in place you weren't evolved to sit at a computer all day like this

Every 30 minutes do 30 jumping jacks or jog in place you weren't evolved to sit at a computer all day like this Actual Advice Mallard
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If you lane goes missing Either push the tower or follow that fucker. <3 Dan

If you lane goes missing Either push the tower or follow that fucker. <3 Dan Actual Advice Mallard
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When your mom calls your name Don't answer it, just go to her because it is likely she wont respond

When your mom calls your name Don't answer it, just go to her because it is likely she wont respond Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't try to think of your own inspirational quotes Just don't

Don't try to think of your own inspirational quotes Just don't Actual Advice Mallard
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a friend in need is a friend indeed but a friend with weed is better

a friend in need is a friend indeed but a friend with weed is better Actual Advice Mallard
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