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Actual Advice Mallard

Go to a fast food place right before closing time They might give you some of the leftover food for free

Go to a fast food place right before closing time They might give you some of the leftover food for free Actual Advice Mallard
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If you want to get into a girls pants bet her that they will fit on you

If you want to get into a girls pants bet her that they will fit on you Actual Advice Mallard
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My Beak is a dog Once it is seen it can't be unseen

My Beak is a dog Once it is seen it can't be unseen Actual Advice Mallard
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Leave before the party dies You'll end up with much better memories

Leave before the party dies You'll end up with much better memories Actual Advice Mallard
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tend to forget new names? Repeat them thrice when hearing them for the first time and you won't

tend to forget new names? Repeat them thrice when hearing them for the first time and you won't Actual Advice Mallard
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If you have diarrhea Never trust a fart

If you have diarrhea Never trust a fart Actual Advice Mallard
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Scared of burning fingers taking hot toast out of the toaster? The handle goes further up than "popped"!

Scared of burning fingers taking hot toast out of the toaster? The handle goes further up than
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When turning right on red Don't just look for cars, check to make sure there isn't a pedestrian directly in front of you

When turning right on red Don't just look for cars, check to make sure there isn't a pedestrian directly in front of you Actual Advice Mallard
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HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE

HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE Actual Advice Mallard
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Want to know who stalks you? Deactivate your facebook for a few weeks. Those who go apeshit and ask if you blocked them are your stalkers.

Want to know who stalks you? Deactivate your facebook for a few weeks. Those who go apeshit and ask if you blocked them are your stalkers. Actual Advice Mallard
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