Actual Advice Mallard

Touch and play with her hair before advancing on to kissing your date if she feels safe and comfortable enough to kiss you, she won't back away

Touch and play with her hair before advancing on to kissing your date  if she feels safe and comfortable enough to kiss you, she won't back away  Actual Advice Mallard

If you'd like to earn some Karma Just put monster truck tires on me

If you'd like to earn some Karma Just put monster truck tires on me  Actual Advice Mallard

If you can't seem to get any karma on reddit make a meme pointing it out

If you can't seem to get any karma on reddit make a meme pointing it out  Actual Advice Mallard

When a girl tells you "you're a really great guy" Things are only going to go downhill from there.

When a girl tells you

Do a barrel roll!

 Do a barrel roll!  Actual Advice Mallard

I can be your first love and your midlife crisis she will always be your rebound

I can be your first love and your midlife crisis she will always be your rebound  Actual Advice Mallard

don't wear shoes at home you won't track in outside dirt and your downstairs neighbors won't have to listen to your footsteps

don't wear shoes at home you won't track in outside dirt and your downstairs neighbors won't have to listen to your footsteps  Actual Advice Mallard

If your dog likes peanut butter Don't spread Skippy on your balls

If your dog likes 
peanut butter Don't spread Skippy 
on your balls  Actual Advice Mallard

im a malard says the bird people but really im a "Duck'

im a malard says the bird people  but really im a

Keep an entire roll of trash bags at the bottom of your trash bin when you take the trash out you can immediately wrap another bag around the bin

Keep an entire roll of trash bags at the bottom of your trash bin when you take the trash out you can immediately wrap another bag around the bin
  Actual Advice Mallard
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