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Actual Advice Mallard

Don't fuck with falcons

Don't fuck with falcons Actual Advice Mallard
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But trust me on the sunscreen...

But trust me on the sunscreen... Actual Advice Mallard
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IF YOU GET PULLED OVER WITH A CHILD IN THE CAR TELL THEM TO START CRYING THAT THEY NEED THE TOILET

IF YOU GET PULLED OVER WITH A CHILD IN THE CAR TELL THEM TO START CRYING THAT THEY NEED THE TOILET Actual Advice Mallard
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3 days until father day do not buy your dad a crappy tie

3 days until father day do not buy your dad a crappy tie Actual Advice Mallard
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When you are told to do something and you do a good job Don't show off to them they will expect you to do it again

When you are told to do something and you do a good job Don't show off to them they will expect you to do it again Actual Advice Mallard
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If you want to make sure you don't get your sheets messy during masturbation Take your index and middle fingers and apply pressure underneath the testicles before climax

If you want to make sure you don't get your sheets messy during masturbation Take your index and middle fingers and apply pressure underneath the testicles before climax Actual Advice Mallard
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Do you Want to dance with a girl at the club? Make sure she agrees before you grab her by the hip and pull her in towards you

Do you Want to dance with a girl at the club? Make sure she agrees before you grab her by the hip and pull her in towards you Actual Advice Mallard
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never use the word "ironic"

never use the word
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dont purchase something you cant pay for

dont purchase something you cant pay for Actual Advice Mallard
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Want to ensure you have better smelling breath brush your tongue

Want to ensure you have better smelling breath brush your tongue Actual Advice Mallard
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